The Melancholy Korean

“Prune?”

“Yes, sir?”

“He’s not taking my calls.”

“Melancholy disconnected the phone in his room, sir.”

“Can you bring the phone up to him?”

“If you insist, sir.”

“Yes, Prune. I insist.”

“Mell.”

“I can’t do it, captain.”

“I have an idea.”

“No.”

“Come on, Mell. You don’t even know what it is.”

“No.”

(silence)

“Fine, Mell. Whatever you say.”

(silence)

“Have you seen Fannie and Freddie today?”

“I could give a shit, captain.”

“It might be game over, Mell. Unbelievable. If the Feds take over the debt, that’s like another five trillion added on. The US government would be ten trillion dollars in the hole, Mell!

(silence)

“They’re not gonna do that.”

“I don’t know, Mell. They’re making plans now.”

“Even the morons Cheney hired to manage the economy are not that stupid.”

(silence)

“Backseat himself, though… I’m not so sure, captain. I love how the lesson he took away from Reagan was that deficits don’t matter. Clearly, Mr. Yale Dropout never traded in the bond market.”

“There you go, Mell.”

“And what’s with his wife writing all that lesbian cowgirl porn? Seriously, is the whole fucking Republican Party run by a bunch of closeted homos?”

“Ha, Mell.”

“Since I went to Yale, I guess I know the fucking answer. Yes, yes, yes.”

“Ha, ha. Jesus.”

“Maybe next time we can nominate a candidate for President who doesn’t admit he knows nothing about the economy. Or are we trying to lose this election by Mondale-like proportions?”

“Tell me about it, Mell. McCain’s 30 bid now.”

“That’s another one of your great trades, captain.”