The Melancholy Korean

"Captain..."

"Can't talk, Mell. Market is shitting its bed this morning."

"You really ought to be a writer, cap. Your metaphors are so vivid."

"Seriously, Mell. Can I call you back?"

"Just wanted to thank you for getting me into Citi."

(silence)

"Yeah, Mell..."

"Normally, I try to buy stocks that are going up. You know, stocks that show earnings growth."

(silence)

"But it's important to have new experiences, I guess."

(silence)

"New experiences, Mell? Like prostate..."

"Play nice, captain. Play nice."