Worthless
Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 11:07PM in broker bill "Mell, you still Chinesed that spread?"
"Spent all my cash in Japan, captain."
"Looks like Yahoo might break twenty, you see that?"
"Captain, I saw that one coming a mile away. I'm short all the Asian geeks. Guys like Jerry are so fucking used to rejection, they expect to lose."
"Jesus."
(silence)
"What the hell are they gonna do, Mell?"
"I know she's a terrible manager and all, but I always had a soft spot for Carly. Bring her in."
"Is that what we're calling it now? Soft spot?"
"Maybe not so soft."
"Ha. Oh man."
"McCain seems to be loading up on the hard blondes. His second wife, Carly, Meg. I wouldn't be surprised if Christy fucking Whitman gets on board soon. Anything to attract the Hill-Billy supporters."
"You think so, Mell?
"Either that or McCain's got a little Clinton in 'em."
"No way."
"Well, I don't want to judge, captain, but cheating on your first wife 'cause she got busted up in a car accident isn't exactly Medal of Honor behavior. Even that nitwit Ross Perot gets it."
"I think he's got a good chance, though."
"Captain, are you saying..."
"How much, Mell?"
"No odds?"
"For you, straight up."
"How about three and a half?"
(silence)
"Thousand, Mell? You sure?"
"Trillion. Three and a half trillion dollars."
(silence)
"Uh, Mell, I don't think even the Chinese have that many dollars in foreign currency reserves. How are we gonna settle up?"
"Not US dollars, captain. Zimbabwean dollars. It's like thirty-five billion to one."