The Melancholy Korean

“Jesus, Mell.  What the hell is going on?  Harry called me yesterday.”

“Do you think oil is a sale here?”

(silence) 

“Fuck you.  I don’t have time for this shit.  Don’t play games, Mell.  I got to get back to work.”

“Light sweet crude at 110 bucks?  Come on, that’s a sale.”

“You calling a top in oil?  Mell, you come on.  What do you know about commodities?”

 “We’re going into a recession.  Demand is going to go through the floor.  All these commodities are way overpriced.  You know that.”

“You want my advice?”

“Sure.”

“Fuck oil.  Buy the financials.  The Fed is going to cut rates until the cows come flying home.  They’ve all bottomed out.”

“Cows don’t fly.”

“Whatever, Mell.  I’m telling you.  Citigroup.  Do you think the federal government is going to let Citi go bankrupt?  If some shitty third-tier bank like Bear gets bailed out, the federales will bend over and take it up the ass before they let Citi go down.”

“Nice metaphor.”

“You know what else?”

“What?”

“Felicity is a great girl.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“She’s the best thing to happen to you in a long time, Mell.”

“Thanks, captain.  I heard you the first time.”

“So, what’s the problem here?”

“She really likes me.”

“Jesus.”

“I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“Ok, buddy.  You want advice?  Here it is.  Stay the hell away from oil.  You gotta have balls the size of elephants to short oil here.  It might get to 150 before we’re done.”

“Elephants have balls?”

“Buy the financials.  Back the truck up and gorge yourself.”

“Ok, captain.” 

“And do me a favor, ok?  Go back home.  Today.  Take the 3:20 to Annondale.  That gives you a couple hours in the city.  Go to your favorite bookstore, relax, get your shit together, and then go home.”

“Well…”

“If you catch the 3:20, you’re back in time for dinner.  You’re good with words, Mell.  You can do this.  Smooth things out with Felicity.  She’ll understand.”

“I don’t know if I…”

“Don’t forget the flowers.”