Eliot Spitzer, Moron
Tuesday, April 1, 2008 at 04:32PM in politics Not because of the arrogance. Although, Mr. Streamroller Man, in this department you were a king among paupers. Not because of the shady money transfers. And not because of the girls. What man hasn't dreamt of an evening, or two, or several hundred, with thousand dollar hookers?
Not even because of the choice of girls, although I find NJH's (Nasty Jersey Hoes) repellent. The latest floozy looks like a tranny. Swear to Christ. And, be fair, Eliot. You were a Kennedy star-f*cker. How were we supposed to know you had some Clinton in you too?
(Favorite quote from the dystopian WJC years: After the first pictures of the Intern were released, some French wag, possibly Jack Lang--I had hoped Pamela Harriman, but, alas, she died in '97--or one of those other frogs, lips puckered, eyebrows raised, sighed and said, "Well, his libido was formed in Arkansas.")
Are mistresses no longer in fashion? Wasn't that a better way? Even their names sound dignified: Pamela Churchill Harriman. Judith Campbell Exner. Lovely tripartite rhythm. Very Roman. Very dignified.
Ashley. Ugh. Ashley Dupre. Ashley Alexandra Dupre. It's the g*ddman trifecta of disgusting.
But I digress.
Eliot Spitzer, you are a Moron because when a woman like Silda allows you to take her out, when she agrees to lower herself and marry you (remember children, all women marry down), you thank God that the universe has decided a horse’s a** like yourself should be so blessed. You unfasten that pilleus cornutus off your balding head, convert to Islam, and, five times a day, on your knees, you pray to God and thank the Almighty for your wife.